The end of 2015

Wow…it’s hard to believe that this is the last day of 2015. It seems like it was yesterday when I wrote that 2014 was almost over and that events from that year had made me realize I was a stronger woman in that year. A woman of Worth, Love and Character. That I had found a richer and deeper love for Christ than ever before in my life.

My goal for 2015 was to not set resolutions but to live life falling deeper for His love and walking through my life with more love, laughter and zest.

I can truly say 2015 was a year of change and growth. Spending time in His Word made me realize that I needed to make some big changes in my life in order for that growth to happen.

I had to learn how to set boundaries in order for relationships to continue, and along the way there were a few relationships that didn’t survive.

I had to learn to not worry about what people said about me on facebook or even what they thought about me.

I had to learn that being humble, more than ever before, brings much happiness….yet, it is one of the hardest things to do.

After much praying, in May, I decided to move back to St. Louis to be closer to my son, Tyler, and his wife, Heather. In my heart I never wanted to live away from my son and I certainly didn’t want to live away from grandbabies when the time came for them to start having babies, so I put things in place to make that transition.

I packed my house in May & June. I traveled to Texas in July to see my best friend and upon returning to Indiana…I moved 3 days later. Talk about a crazy few months packed with chaos!

I moved in with Tyler and Heather. They created a small cozy space in their basement until my apartment was ready in October.

In the change of things I learned that I didn’t know Heather and she didn’t know me. We “knew” each other but didn’t “know” one another, yet we both loved the same man. I learned that my son loves and adores his wife.

I learned that my old church, as much as I loved it and had hoped to return there, wasn’t were I was supposed to be.

With all the many things I learned and the wonderful changes that happened I grew into a woman who got a little lost along the way and stopped picking up her Bible. Please don't misunderstand. I still spent time reading the Bible app on my phone and still listened to worship music, but there’s something to holding and reading and studying the Word with the Bible literally in your hands.

Even though I wasn’t holding my Bible in my hands I was still seeking Him and ways to grow closer. In September I began a Bible study that was deeper than any study I’ve ever done before. We studied from the book Redemption by Mike Wilkerson. It was a 12 week study and even in the first 4-5 weeks I wasn’t sure what I was getting from it. I wasn’t just going through the motions. I was digging deep and just didn’t see where I was connecting with this study.

Now, you need to know, when I’m studying I write all over and in my book. I write whatever comes to my heart if something is triggered. During week 6 the chapter I read resonated with me and I decided to read it again. Holy Moly…..on one of the pages there was my sons name, written across the page. I didn’t even remember writing it. So I backed up and began reading the chapter from the beginning. I bawled. For days!

That study opened my eyes to see that for 15 years (if not longer) I had made my son an idol. I looked to him for love, approval, respect, acceptance and appreciation. I say 15 years because it was 15 years ago that he led me to Christ. I left behind an addiction and love for alcohol. 

So deeply seeded and never would I have imagined that I had put my only child on a pedestal. Somewhere deep within I had made my son my savior. Talk about a HUGE realization and the heart ache that came.

What was even harder than realizing that I had done that, was going to Tyler and asking for his forgiveness and setting in place the changes I need to make.

2015 was eye-opening!! I, however, would not change this year for anything in the world. I welcome 2016 and the changes I need to make to insure I do not put that pressure and burden upon my child.

I have Jesus Christ. He is my true Savior, and the only one who can handle any pressure and burden I place upon Him. He is the only one I will seek comfort, joy and peace from.

Again, I will not set a resolution for 2016, but I will strive to become the woman God needs and wants me to be. My plan for 2016 is to live more humbly and even more transparent. To live with greater intent with those in my life. To love more. To laugh louder...and to seek God with all my being.

My prayer is that you will look within and see what is hidden. Look deep within, not just on the surface. Jesus is waiting to carry the burdens for you.

Happy New Year!

Blessings!

~Bo~

Just Bloom!

It seems so easy to conform to this world and the things around us. Our friends buy a new house or new car and we quickly compare what they have to what we have. In that moment, that hour, that day, that week…we think about, even dwell upon the thoughts of “we aren’t good enough because we don’t have -------.”

So easily we begin to compare ourselves. Our lives and our possessions to that of which our neighbors have. In that split second we become focused on not what we have been blessed with but what we want. 

Is it really – what we have isn’t good enough? Or is it….the bigger, the newer the better we have the happier we will be?

I am so guilty!

I complain.

I compare.

Unlike a flower that never compares itself to another flower. It just blooms.

I have wilted.

I’m constantly being convicted of not being content with the riches I have. And yet I lose sight of the many blessing God has bestowed upon me.

Recently I heard someone say “It’s easy to be content in the highs of life.”

Oh….that’s so true!!!!

Yet, when the lows of life appear we instantly lose sight of Phil 4:19 which tells us that God shall supply all our needs according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus.

He will supply our needs!

Maybe – all in all – it’s not the “things” we aren’t content with. Maybe it’s our heart.

Our hearts and minds are not set on the things of above but on the things of this World. (Col 3:2)

A Kingdom Mindset!!

Hmmm…..

If my mind and heart are set on the above how could I ever want for anything on this Earth?

He will supply My needs. With a Kingdom mindset I shall receive His Kingdom.

What more could a girl want?

Forgive me Father…..

I shall become the flower that does not compare herself to others flowers. I shall…Just Bloom.

I will be content in whatever state you have me.

Blessings!

Bo

8/24/2015

Flip the Switch!

Shame on me. I’ve allowed life to consume me and haven’t been faithful in listening to God and journaling the words He puts upon my heart. Gotta love free will, right??

**heavy sigh** 

So…here I go.

I’ve recently encountered a few people that seem to suck the life right out of me and in turn I allow them to ruin my day. Anyone and everyone who knows me personally knows one of my biggest quotes is:

 “Don’t allow anyone or anything to steal your God-given joy. They are not worthy of that right.”

Yet, as humans we are easily set off by others by something they say or possibly something they do. Why? What is it within us that allows another to flip our switch? I’ve always been told no other person can make you “feel” anything, yet many times I “feel” hurt, betrayed and even angry. I believe most people experience these feelings and emotions but, in reality we are the ones allowing those feelings to happen.

What are we missing?                                                                                      

Why does our focus and thought process go there?                                                

Is it because we long to feel loved?   

Why is it some of carry our hearts on our shoulder and are so easily offended.

Did Jesus feel offended when people didn’t accept him? Did He allow others to “flip the switch” by what they said or did to him.

I know many times in my life when someone has done something against me I’ve said I’ll never forgive them – yet – I’ve done the same thing to someone else. It will never be within our own ability to forgive painful attitudes and hurtful acts. It can only be the love of Christ within our hearts that can exchange that hurt for love.

Only God can allow you to look beyond the offense and see with His eyes.

Crowds mocked Jesus. Those that loved him dearly abandoned him. Roman soldiers nailed him to a cross. (Talk about a ruined day!)

Yet, in the end his words were, “Father, forgive them for they know not what they do.” (Luke 23:34)

We live in a broken and fallen world. We are going to be hurt, wronged, and sinned against. We have been wounded and some of those wounds run deeper than anyone knows.

Jesus has the answer. He calls us to love one another. He calls us to forgive one another. He doesn’t want us to plan our revenge. He wants us to forgive. Not once, but 7 x’s 70 times a day! If it was just that simple.

(This is not my personal picture. I got it from the internet)

C.S Lewis said it best. “Everyone says forgiveness is a lovely idea until they have something to forgive.”

Love like Jesus. Flip the switch and put the words upon your lips: “Father, forgive them for they know not what they do.”

Blessings,

Bo

06/22/2015

Drop the Call & Reconnect!

I love my cellphone. I love the safe feeling I have knowing I have a way to call for help if needed when traveling. I love that I can send and receive texts when I need to talk to someone but am somewhere where I can’t talk out loud. However, I do not live for my cellphone. It is not the breath of me.

I was on facebook the other day and someone posted a picture of their young daughter with her cellphone at the dinner table. The post had a picture of the girl looking at her phone while in a restaurant and the post said “she’s texting me!” The responding comments were many LOL’s.

My brother is always commenting on how he hates that his kids are always on their cellphones. Yet, he is always on his. It’s so discouraging to go to dinner with them and see my brother constantly checking or clicking away on his cellphone.

Personally, THIS infuriates me. It’s not the fact a cute picture was posted with her on her phone, it’s the fact that as a society we have lost touch of what personal communication really means anymore. I’m sure this blog is going to ruffle some feathers somewhere and this is strictly my opinion.

We, as parents, wonder why we can’t connect with our teenagers or understand the lingo they speak. We wonder why they’re failing in school or why they’re in trouble in school. We wonder why kids are becoming more introverted every day. Being a parent of a teen is hard enough as it is.

My son, now 25, was not permitted to have a cellphone until he was 16 years old. Yes, I said 16. He was made fun of by his friends because he didn’t have a cell phone, but I didn’t care what his friends thought. It wasn’t that I didn’t think he was responsible enough because he was a very responsible teenager. It was simply because I wanted him to learn the basics of how to communicate with people on a personal level. I wanted him to grasp the fact that talking face to face is far more important than clicking keys to talk through text.

I’m not saying my choices as a parent were the best choices….heck I was a drunk who took her anger out on her son when he was little. Praise God that child forgave me for those mistakes!

But, what I am saying is, if we teach our children to put the phone down and to live intentionally with people and around people our children will grow and understand how to communicate face to face. They will learn how to express their feelings and emotions, but most importantly they will learn how to talk and relate on a personal level.

I want those around me to know that they are important. That the short amount of time I might have with them at dinner is far more important than me checking my phone to see the status of my friends on facebook who I don’t even really know or haven’t talked to or seen in 3, 5, 10 or 30 years.

What really matters in my life? What or who is really important? My family, statuses on facebook or the next level of candy crush? I want there to be no doubt to the people who choose to spend time with me, whether it’s a couple hours or a quick lunch, that THEY MATTER MOST. I want to live with intent and I want to talk and laugh and hear and know what they are truly saying. And I want the same in return.

I wonder, how many people have dropped their cell in the toilet? Our cellphones have become idols. There…I said it. We can’t even go to the bathroom without them. I’m guilty. I’ve sent many texts while sitting on the potty. (Not that you wanted that visual!) But, lets be real here.

As a society we have grown to grab that little electronic idol all the time. What would happen if we put it down and focus on our children, focus on our family, focus on God? What would happen if we  re-learned how to communicate with our children, with our family and with God? What if we put God first, family second and our cellphones last?

What if…

If we would reach for God the way we reach for our cell phones.

We would hug our children as tight as we hug our cellphones.

We prayed instead of played candy crush.

We ate dinner without bringing our cellphone to the table and had real face to face interaction.

Just…what if?

I think it's time to drop this stronghold just like it's carriers use to drop our calls.

Just sayin'

Matthew 6:21

For where you treasure is, there your heart will be also.

Matthew 6:33

But seek first His kingdom and righteousness, and all things will be given to you as well.

I found this picture on the internet and it fit perfectly to my blog topic. I have not altered it in any way. Credit is given to who said the quote as well as who used this for their business. I do not know either the person who quoted or the business and do not promote this business. I just used the picture as it was.

Blessings,

Bo

02/04/2015

Reflection of 2014

2014 is now in the past. It was a year where memories were made, heartaches happened, laughter rang out, smiles were shared and tears were shed.

I can't say I enjoyed everything that happened in 2014 because some things felt like they ripped my heart out. But, I wouldn't change it.

The events that happened, good and bad, made me realize I am stronger than I ever imagined. That within me was a woman of Worth. A woman of Love. A woman of Character.

I found a love richer and deeper with Christ that I could have ever imagined. Because of that love I stand in faith stronger than ever before.

My goal for 2015 is to not set resolutions, but to live life falling deeper for His love and walking through my life with more love, laughter and zest.

Join me!!

Family Traditions

I love hearing about family traditions. Whether it’s getting together once a year for a family reunion, having Sunday Fun-Days, 4^th of July blasts, or venturing out to a tree farm to pick out and cut down you own Christmas tree….the list could go on and on.

This sled belonged to one of my clients grandfather.
She used it with her three grandchildren in transporting their Christmas tree.
What a wonderful tradition.

When talking with people I always ask if they have a family tradition. Some do. Some don’t. Time and time again, what I see in people when I ask if they have a tradition is the light in their eyes. There comes a sparkle of excitement. Even when the response shared is that they don’t have a tradition. There is still that sparkle.

But, what is the sparkle? Is it excitement? Is it the joy in knowing you are or could be part of something? I, personally, think its Hope.

Hope is something we all have in common. It’s something we all cling to.

The family that has a Christmas tradition of getting all dolled up to attend The Nutcracker has hope they might see something a tad different than previous year’s performances. The woman sitting in ICU with her child has hope he will recover from his illness. The homeless man has hope he receives a hot meal to nourish his body and warm shelter to bring him comfort from the weather.

Though the situations are different, we are much the same at heart in having hope. We believe in the hope that is instilled within our hearts.

However, hope is not something we see. Just as the wind. You don’t actually it. You see or feel the results of it. As you close your eyes and turn your face towards the refreshing breeze the wind has brought you inhale experiencing something you can only feel, yet not see.

This Christmas, my prayer for you and your family is that you will experience hope in things you can’t see in a way unimaginable.  I pray you experience the refreshing wind. I pray you have faith beyond the size of a mustard seed. But, most importantly I pray you experience the joy and love of Christ and that He would be your hope. That He would become a tradition you would pass down to your family.

Merry Christmas!

Blessings,

Bo

12/24/2014

For His Glory

I’ve never been a big fan of roller coasters. I remember as a kid there was only one roller coaster I would ride. That was “The Racer” at Kings Island in Mason, Ohio. There were two “Racers”. They did just that….they raced. One went forward and one went backwards. I preferred the one that went backwards just so I didn’t have that feeling of “I’m going to fall out of this seat” or “This car is going to flip over itself” just as I saw the downward hill. I only had to see the sky as the thrill of plunging downward began.

I don’t know if there is much difference in the experience of riding the coaster forward or backward….. Either way your stomach ends up in your throat! At least it always did for me. HA!

I’ve attempted to try a few other coasters in my 49 years….but, yeah….for me...the thrill…not so much! I can live without roller coasters.

But, life itself is a roller coaster. Ups, downs, Sometimes we think we’re going forward when actually we’re going backwards, and then the loops and turns and…..shew…I need off already.

I can truly say God led me to a new amusement ride about three months ago. He guided me in starting a photography business. Now, I had dabbled for a couple years, but it was just that…dabble. It took a couple of months with me battling Him and literally screaming at Him, “Are you crazy?” But, He kept bringing it before me. Finally, I bowed down and became obedient.

I knew, without a doubt, that the business name would have to do with blessings. Beautiful blessings from God. So I went with Beautiful Blessings. When I went to get a domain name….it was taken. Trying to stay on the same track, I thought I’d do Bonita Blessings, since my given name is Bonita and it means beautiful in Spanish. However, that, too, was taken.

Now, I was discouraged. I couldn’t figure out what it was supposed to be called and I didn’t want just any ole name. I hit my knees in prayer and in tears. Begging I asked, “What? What am I doing wrong? If this is supposed to be why is coming up with the name so difficult? Why? I don’t understand.” I prayed and I prayed and I prayed some more.

Then one night about 3:30am I sat straight up in bed and said, “I got it! Why didn’t you say that in the first place?!” I had the name all along.

Heartbeats From Heaven.

Heartbeats From Heaven are Beautiful Blessings.

By the fullness of His grace we have all received one blessing after another. James 1:16

From that day forward, my business has been all Gods doing. It’s not my business, it’s His. I’m just the vessel capturing His beautiful blessings.

It's for His glory!

I’m still not so sure what He has planned but I can say, “This ride has been exhilarating!” I know His plan will be magnificent no matter what.

“For I know the plans I have for you” declares the Lord. “Plans to prosper you and not harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11

What has He been speaking into you? Are you kicking and screaming and asking Him if He’s crazy? What would happen in your world if you just trusted Him and became obedient?

Have a little faith and enjoy the ride. I’m certain He has something wonderful planned. Let it be for His glory.

He loves you, you know!?!

Blessings,

Bo 

11/20/2014

If you’d like to see the beautiful blessings I’ve captured through my lens you can find my work at www.heartbeatsfromheaven.com and on Facebook at Heartbeats from Heaven Photography. I’d love to hear what you think!

Not By Chance

The text message read…“GOD’S NOT DEAD.” I knew exactly what that meant and why I had received that text. However, I didn’t recognize the number. Not that it really mattered who sent it but it did matter they thought enough of me to include me in their shout out. 

This is my cousin, Zach, who sent the original message. 

Thanks, Zach for following your heart and sending that text!!

If you’re reading my blog and don’t know why I received that text message then I encourage you to see the movie “God’s Not Dead.”

As I watched my phone blow up with responses of people saying things like “He is Good”, “He is surely alive”, and even “who is this?” all I could do was smile.

Then I received a text from someone I didn’t know. They wanted to know who the original sender was because they didn’t know the number. So I explained who sent the message. The next text read, “I think I was a wrong number.”

"Indeed you were NOT a wrong number!!!! Apparently God intended for you to receive that message” was my reply.

As we text back and forth I found out it was a young lady who was going through some tough struggles and just didn’t know which way to go. Yet…there was her answer. A text from a perfect stranger saying “God’s not dead.”

It was not by chance that she received that text.

God knows exactly when we need to hear His ever soft whisper. 

He knows when we need to see His sign. 

He knows when we need to feel His presence. 

Sometimes…we just need to be still and look up.

I think of that young lady often and pray for her every time she comes to mind. In those moments I send her a text just to let her know I’m praying for her. I never hear back. I often wonder if my simple text is being received right when she needs it. Because it certainly is Not By Chance that she is on my mind.

Where ever you are… know that God’s NOT dead and those small subtle things that happen are not by chance. They are His way of saying….Be Still and Know I am God and I am here for you.

Blessings!

Bo

10/14/2014

Unconditional Love

I type with one finger on my cellphone. I simply cannot master dual thumbs. So when I’m sitting in church and I’m trying to take notes often when I go back to read over my notes I have a good giggle over what I’ve typed trying to decipher what some words are supposed to be. 

This evening as I was spending time in prayer I felt led to go back to my notes from this morning’s message. Much to my amazement I was able to read what I typed. Not only was it not jumbled from me trying to hurry it was all capitalized. The portion of my notes, that I was drawn to, read:

“We must first love ourselves unconditionally before we can love others unconditionally.”

WOW! Think about that for a second.

“We must first love ourselves unconditionally before we can love others unconditionally.”

In scripture we find the two greatest commandments in Mark 12:30-31:

   1.    Love the Lord with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind and all your strength.

   2.    Love your neighbor as yourself.

Love your neighbor as yourself. HA! How on earth do we do that when we are a society that is extremely quick to judge. Without any thought of a possible circumstance at hand we are quick to judge the mother of 4 in line at the grocery store paying for her groceries with food stamps. We are quick to judge the man standing at the red light holding a sign that says, “Will work for food”. We are quick to judge the woman with long beautiful blonde hair walking down the street. We are quick to judge the man driving the red sports car that just went zooming past in the fast lane.

I’m guilty. Are you? Are you guilty of judging someone else without knowing their circumstance? Better yet…are you guilty of judging yourself? Comparing yourself to others and putting yourself down?

If we’re doing all this judging, how on earth are we loving unconditionally? Isn’t unconditional love an accepting love? Maybe, just maybe, if we would ease up and stop our minds in mid thought and just love in the moment we could make a drastic change in not only our lives but the lives of others.

If we aren’t loving ourselves first, how on earth are we supposed to love someone, anyone, else? I’m pretty certain that it would be nearly impossible to love your neighbor as yourself when most of us don’t even like ourselves.

We say such rude things to and about ourselves that if a complete stranger walked up to us and said those things we’d want to throat punch them! So, why is it okay for us to speak so degrading and disrespectful to ourselves?

It’s time to stop!!

Today, I want you to know….I love me. I’m going to love me unconditionally because I’m an unique and divine masterpiece. I’m going to stop judging myself so harshly and forgive myself for the mistakes my flesh has made.

I want to walk forward in this life loving you for all you are and all that you were created to be….no matter who you are! 

So, starting today, I’m choosing to love me in order to be able to do what I’m called to do. Love my neighbors as myself.

No more judging. No more not forgiving myself for my mistakes. No more disrespectful and degrading words about myself in my head. It’s time for me to love me, unconditionally…because it’s what I'm called to do in order to be able to love you unconditionally.

We are made in HIS image. What's there not to love about that????

Blessings~

Bo 

09/29/2014

EVACUATION ROUTE

There are times that the storm is so wicked you can’t seem to escape it. No matter what you do you can’t break free of the cyclone that is crashing in around you. And then…you begin to think about it. You think about it more and more and more. And it becomes stronger and stronger until it has completely consumed your being.

How do you escape the thoughts of the storm? How do you get away and free yourself? The storm seems so strong you’re afraid you might drown.

Ever experienced this? These hopeless feelings of doom where no matter which way you look there seems to be no way out. I’ve been there many times. Too, many to count. And looking back to those circumstance I realized my focus was me and my storm. And that’s all I wanted to focus on. I didn’t want to even fathom the thought of thinking about something else.

In times of a troubled mind we need an evacuation route. Just like people who live on the coast need to know what route to take to escape the hurricane before hits land. Except at this point, our mind is already so consumed with the thoughts of our personal storm that it’s not just hit land it’s embedded upon our being.

More than ever that’s the exact time we need to reach to God. He is our evacuation route. If we cast our fears upon Him He can bring a comfort like no other. He meets us and accepts us right where we are.

He already knows the circumstances. This is a time that needs an evacuation route and that route can be found through prayer. And there is no wrong way to pray. Ever! In my most precious moments of prayer when I can’t think of what to say, I simply whisper, “Jesus. Please help me.”

He is waiting for us to reach to Him. He wants nothing to steal the joy He has given us. NOTHING!

“Consider it pure joy, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know the testing of your faith builds perseverance. Perseverance must be complete so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” James 1:2-4

Take the evacuation route. Get out of you mind and stop allowing those thoughts to steal your God-given joy.

Blessings~

Bo

09-25-2014 

Chasing Lightening Bugs

The days have been steamy hot with, little to, no breeze. Last night, I was pleasantly surprised by the temperature when I took my dogs outside to play. As one of my 

fur-babies rolled in the grass the other played ball. I believe they, too, were happy to welcome the break of intense heat.

Then, something caught my eye. It was a flash. No, it’ was a small flicker of light in the field behind my house. I experienced one of those moments where you see or hear something and you hold your breath and try not to move until it happens again. And, then, there it was again. And again! And again! Little flickers of fluorescent lights, everywhere.

LIGHTENING BUGS!!

It had been many, many years since I’d seen lightening bugs lighting up the dark like that. I was tickled with excitement. As I sat and watched the light show I reflected back on memories from my childhood. I remembered the joy I had as a little girl just knowing that as the sun began to settle down there, without a doubt, would be thousands of flickering lights for me to run and chase, in hopes of catching. I would see the light, run to it and do everything in my power to catch it. And even though I’d go right to the light, I’d never see the bug unless it was lit up.

Are you old enough to remember those simple days of summer? Can you hear the belly laughter from your inner child and feel the excitement within?

What if? Just, what if…..we chased after God like he was a lightening bug? The excitement! The laughter! Just the joy in knowing He is your faithful light in the field of darkness and He is there even when you don’t see Him.

He is that little flicker of light that brings hope.

He is waiting for us to chase after him with childlike faith and allow Him to light up our world.

What are you waiting for?

Blessings~

Bo

6/21/2014

In The Blink of An Eye

Last weekend my son, Tyler, and his sweetheart, Heather, exchanged wedding vows and began their life partnership. It was beautiful; to say the least.

This photo was taken by The Lovely Lens Photography in St. Louis, Missouri.
 Do not crop or edit this photo in any way.

This afternoon as I sit relaxing under a tree, I’m thinking of all that has come to pass. It’s as though it happened in a blink of an eye. Some things I simply didn’t see and many are a blur.

When I say the wedding was beautiful I don’t mean the bride. She was beyond beautiful. Her everyday beauty, inside and out, is breathtaking. However, on their wedding day she was simply stunning. You could not take your eyes off of her.

Only a few pictures from their photographer, Tammi Camp of The Lovely Lens Photography in St. Louis, Missouri (whom I highly recommend) have been revealed. The other photos I have seen are from family and friends. Looking through those photos I have found myself saying, “I didn’t see that!” or “Where was I?” or “I don’t remember that!” And in my small realm of a mind it’s hard to grasp that those moments happened and I didn’t see or experience them. Especially on the wedding day of my only child.

I don’t have the best memory in the world, but is it possible our minds get so overloaded we literally don’t remember? Before arriving in St. Louis for the wedding my mind was already in a world of chaos. Living states away I simply was not able to be a part of the things I wanted and desired to be part of. I’m sure if I say, “Little girls dream of their wedding day all their lives” you know exactly what I mean. Well, a Mom dreams of things for her children’s wedding day as well.

This is not something I really want to share, but am led to do so. Being brutally honest with myself and sharing with the world I must admit.... there were times when the beast within my body reared its head. My tongue! I allowed my emotions to react and my tongue to whip all because of my own insecurities and selfishness. I’m sad to say, more than once.

Regardless of who you are I’m pretty certain you’ve experienced something similar like this in your lifetime, and maybe even on a daily basis.

James 3:2-5 (ERV)

We all make mistakes. A person who never said anything wrong would be perfect. Someone like that would be able to control their whole body too. We put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us. With these bits we can control their whole body. It is the same with ships. A ship is very big, and it is pushed by strong winds. But a very small rudder controls that ship. And the one who controls the rudder decides where the ship will go. It goes where he wants it to go. It is the same with our tongue. It is a small part of the body, but it can boast about doing great things.

…..and can whip in a blink of an eye! Could this be the reason there are things I didn’t see, or why things seem a blur? Has my mind blocked things from pure shame?

I recently read…… When our hearts desire something more than this world can give, God isn’t ashamed to be called our God.

I jotted that down in my journal and unfortunately I didn’t make note of where I read it. I like to give credit where credit is due.

Those words stuck me like a ball bat. I wanted and desired to be part of things of this world that really didn’t matter. I allowed myself to focus on them and in turn said and did things that should have never been said or done. The words of what I read gave me the assurance that God still loves me even though my focus was not on Him. It was of the world.

Ever since I wrote that statement down I’ve been praying that God would show me a moment during the wedding that wasn’t blurry. For Him to guide me to let go of my focus on, “what I did or didn’t get to do” and “what I did or didn’t get to see.”

In James 4:2 God tells us, “You have not, because you ask not.”

I prayed and asked. He delivered. He not only reminded me of one thing, but several.

1. I was wanted and needed there for my love and support. (No matter what the darkness of my mind said. And even after my tongue got the best of me.)
2. On this day my son was happier than I’ve ever seen him. The glow of his joy filled that entire church.
3. But nearest, dearest and forever etched on my heart and soul…… When I entered the doorway to be ushered down the aisle as mother of the groom, I was not escorted by an usher. My son, whom was standing in the front of the church with his best man and groomsmen came down the aisle, took my arm in his and proudly escorted me to my seat.

These are the things that really matter.

 

This photo was taken by The Lovely Lens Photography in St. Louis, Missouri.
Do not crop or edit this photo in any way.

For those reading who attended the wedding…… This journal is the best I can explain anything. If my actions affected you, I am deeply sorry and pray for your forgiveness.

Blessings~

Bo

06/07/2014

BOREDOM OR ABUNDANT LIVING by Ruth Youngdahl Nelson

I’ve been a little quiet lately. A little reflection happening in my life. All good stuff! Details soon!!!

Tonight as I was spending a little time reading I came across a devotion that I just had to share. 

I DID NOT WRITE THIS!

BOREDOM OR ABUNDANT LIVING

By Ruth Youngdahl Nelson

“The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.” John 10:10

Housewives bored with life are top drug users, concludes a study.

It is sad when people find life boring and take to artificial means to either stimulate or dull their God-given senses. It is particularly sad because the One who brings fulfillment and excitement and joy stands at each heart’s door knocking. But the thief is also there, the thief who comes to steal and kill and destroy. Who is this thief?

As simplistic as it sounds, it is nevertheless eternally true, that thief is embodied in the one letter “I.” “Navel gazing” is no newfangled occupation. Since the beginning of time it has been man’s chief foe. The “poor me” attitude, the stench of self-pity, repels other people and shuts out God.

That big “I” is the only vowel and the middle letter in the word “sin.” How well I remember my confirmation pastor writing those three letters on the chalkboard. Then he told us this same “I” is the blockage between us and heaven. If we permit the Holy Spirit to take hold of the “I” and bend it around until each ends meets, it becomes “0” – zero, nothing. Then the transformation happens, and “sin becomes son,” God’s son. As he takes over our lives, heaven enters our hearts here and now. He is also the means for the gate to be wide open to the hereafter.

I read a lot of devotions. But this particular one really touched my heart. So true in the fact that….we get in our own way. We do more damage than anyone else by having a simple vocabulary of the word “I.”

My prayer is for those struggling with that “I” stronghold. Cry out and allow the Holy Spirit to captivate your heart and meet you right where you are. He doesn’t wait for you to fix it. He will create that transformation as long as you invite Him in.

Blessings~

Bo

5/22/2014

No Matter What May Come

The past few days have been beautiful! Not to cold; not to hot. It’s been about 68 degrees with a nice breeze. Flowers are beginning to bloom. Perfect weather for a hoodie, shorts and flip flops! 

I am lovin’ it!!

Just last week school was called off because of flooding. It had rained so hard for 3 or 4 days that the ground was just saturated. It literally could not hold or absorb any more water. In fact, when I stepped out in the yard water would come up over my shoe from the ground. But, within 24 hours the water had receded in some places yet other areas still looked like a lake existed in that spot. Those “lakes” on normal occasions would be a field.

Even with this recent change in the weather, looking back over the past couple weeks, it’s been a little crazy. (Not me, the weather) Ha!

A few weeks ago we were buried beneath ice and snow….a LOT of it!!

I’m not sure where you live or what type of winter weather normally hits your area, but here in southern Indiana it seemed like we were under ice and snow f-o-r-e-v-e-r! Everyone had a case of cabin fever…..especially the parents with kiddo’s who couldn’t go back to school after their Christmas break. (Thank you, God, for Tyler being way beyond school age!)

Here’s my question.

Did you complain about the weather?

*when we had all the ice and snow?

*when we were being drenched with thunderstorms?

*when we had sunny skies the past couple days?

This is the Lord’s doing. It is marvelous in our eyes. This is the day the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it!! (Psalm 118:23-24)

No matter what may come.

Blessings,

Bo

4-11-2014